I Lived
by Bulletproof Picasso
Summary: It's been Two years since the explosion in the Badlands. Two years since Valerie had jumped off the grid. Now she is living a life in the shadows, avoiding SHIELD, Hydra and the Red Room. But it seems that where ever she goes they soon find her. It soon becomes clear that her war with the world is far from over, and she'll need more help than ever. Rated T for safety. Please R & R.
1. Beginning

**Chapter One**

**WARNING: This is a sequel. If you have not read the first story this may be confusing for new readers. And I have decided to start writing in first person present tense just to test my writing skills, so I apologize in advance if there are any mistakes.**

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><p><em>"Oh when I run, here it comes, We're just two little figures in a soup bowl Trying to get to any kind of control, But I wasn't one Now here I lie on my own in a separate sky Here I lie on my own in a separate sky, I don't wanna die on my own here tonight But here I lie on my own in a separate sky..." Prospekt's March, Coldplay<em>

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><p>"As of now we have no records that Hydra was behind this most recent attack…."<p>

I watch the television with a mixture of emotions as the news report drones on. Hydra was just one of the many problems the world faced now. Two days ago there was an explosion in a nearby city, leaving everyone shaken. By now most of the world had already forgotten about the explosion that happened in the Badlands, California. And I am thankful about that. People will often bring it up and debate over whether or not it was because of Hydra, which is now surfacing as one of the biggest threats the world has faced.

So far I've kept out of the conversations. People would often bring up the string of murders that happened two years ago, and the mysterious girl that Iron Man had captured. None of them had known who she really was, and what her plans were. Two years ago that girl was me. Since I woke up in a hospital weeks after the explosion, I've been hiding in the shadows. I don't want SHIELD or Hydra catching me, especially with everything that has happened recently.

Shaking my head at the thought, I crawl out of the broken window and stumble into the biting cold outside air. It's early January, and already there have been two blizzards hitting the city. With no heat in the building I hide in, the only thing keeping me warm was a bundle of blankets. But I don't mind; I'm thankful to have some warmth at least.

Currently I am hiding in Manhattan, New York. The city is always crawling with people, so it's easy to hide out. That is about the only easy part.

With SHIELD and Hydra on the loose, it's difficult to maintain a low profile. So far I've managed to evade capture five times already, once from Hydra and four times from SHIELD. It seems that Fury is more determined than ever to find me. My guess is that he thinks I'm working for Hydra. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or annoyed that he would think that.

"Can you believe it? They still haven't caught the guy responsible for that explosion." I pass a group of people waiting for the bus; they're gossiping about the latest news report. So far it's been rather quiet since that explosion. It happened a few blocks from here, attacking several businesses and office buildings. I think what scares people more than anything was that it had happened so close to Stark Tower, now known as Avenger's Tower.

"I'm surprised Stark's letting them get away with this," another guy dressed in a heavy coat mutters.

"He's got enough problems as it is," the first one says. "What with rebuilding his mansion and all."

I eye the men warily, noticing that they are giving me odd looks as I walk by. They are talking about what had happened to Tony just a few weeks ago. Everyone was led to believe that he was dead. Yet he had survived the explosion at his mansion and caught the Mandarin, the person responsible for all of the terrorist attacks during Christmas. According to the news quite a few people were caught in the crossfires. But as always Tony had stopped the enemy in time. He always did.

"Hey girlie, aren't you a bit young to be out of school?" One of the men grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around. I react so quickly that he's too stunned to defend himself by aiming my fist into his nose. The man rubs his nose in shock, unable to speak as his comrade stares at me through narrowed eyes.

"I'm home schooled," I reply before they can say anything else.

"Home schooled eh?" The second man, taller than the first, glares at me as I fold my arms. I'm ready to strike again if need be. This isn't the first time I've gotten into a fight, and it certainly won't be the last. "Just keep your fists to yourself; we don't need any trouble here," he suddenly snaps.

The first man just glares at me as his friend helps him up. I simply shrug and brush them off before walking away. Honestly, I'm not even sure why they had gotten so worked up. Home schooled is one of the biggest excuses I use when people start asking questions. I've already made fake IDs to prove that, along with physically changing my appearance every now and than. After a week or so of running away from the hospital, I had dyed my hair a light red color. Every now and than I would put in fake eye contacts to keep people from getting a good look at me.

I start walking faster, knowing that people will be drawn to the scene in a matter of seconds. People are drawn to danger like flies to a flame. And sure enough a small crowd does begin to gather as the man points a finger at me. I look over my shoulder one last time before rolling my eyes in annoyance. It wouldn't be long before the police arrive, and SHIELD would follow shortly after.

With a sigh of frustration I start running towards the nearest alleyway. The wind pierces my skin as I run at full speed; it's still brutally cold since it is winter. This year has been colder than usual. Several schools had called off due to the cold weather, which I laughed at. These kids wouldn't last five minutes in the real world. They didn't know what it was like to really survive.

Once I'm far enough away I skid to a stop and catch my breath. By now the corner I was at moments before is long gone. I can hear sirens wailing in the distance. Someone must have called the cops. Which means it's time for me to keep on moving.

I start walking down the street once more as soon as I know it's safe. I have gotten used to being on the run. After nearly getting caught by SHIELD it was the one thing that kept me going. I didn't want to be part of SHIELD, or have anything to do with them. And the same goes for Hydra as well.

My fists start clenching as bitter memories suddenly return. I can still remember all of those years I had trained in the program. They trained me to fight and kill. Thanks to them I had the blood of innocent victims on my hands. The program is the reason I have so many scars that can't even be counted. And they are the ones responsible for the death of my family. I shake my head at the thought, knowing that all of the anger in the world wouldn't bring them back. My parents had meant the world to me. And they are gone. And my sister; there had been no body, but I could only assume that she had been killed as well.

"Sounds like you've caused quite the scene." I freeze at the familiar voice. My teeth grind together as I turn to see someone I had not seen in months.

The woman leaning against a brick wall smirks as I glare at her. Natasha Romanoff, otherwise known as the Black Widow. Same red hair and green eyes I have become familiar with. And that same cocky expression that always made me roll my eyes.

"I think I've made my point," I retort.

"Oh I'm sure you have." She eyes me up and down before taking on a relaxed posture. "How long do you think you can keep this up? Sooner or later SHIELD is going to track you down."

"As long as it takes to survive," I reply with a shrug.

Every few months either Natasha or Clint would check up on me. They never gave away my location. I am thankful for that, and for the fact that they seem to care so much. Though I'm still suspicious about their actions. Like Natasha had said, sooner or later SHIELD would find me.

"Here." My eyes narrow as she hands me something in a folder. "Tony did some snooping and thought you might want to read that."

I look at the folder warily. It's heavy, and I can tell that it's stuffed with an extensive amount of paperwork. When I look back up I realize that she's gone. It's like she was never even there. Holding back a sigh, I know that I would see her again sooner or later.

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><p><strong>AN: So, I decided to write a sequel after all. This one will be including Hydra, and quite possible AIM. Which means lots of exciting things are about to happen. And of course the Avengers will be making more than just frequent appearances as well :) So hopefully readers will give this story reviews.<strong>


	2. Memories of the Past

**Chapter Two**

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><p><em>"All of my memories, Keep you near In silent moments, Imagine you'd be here All of my memories, Keep you near The silent whispers, silent tears Made me promise I'd try, To find my way back in this life I hope there is away, To give me a sign you're okay Reminds me again, It's worth it all So I can go home..." Memories, Within Temptation<em>

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><p>"Agent Romanoff, report."<p>

Director Fury stands in front of his desk, watching Natasha carefully as she gives him a detailed report of what happened earlier that day. She doesn't seem phased by the fact that she has done this every few months now, giving reports on how the girl SHIELD was keeping on eye on was doing since her recovery.

"I gave her the files as directed, she seemed wary but she accepted them." Natasha doesn't miss the look of surprise written across the director's face.

Valerie has been giving SHIELD a run for it's money since she recovered from her time in the program. SHIELD wants to keep a closer eye on her, but she knows that they are watching. So every few months Director Fury would send in someone that Valerie trusts, to some extent. Unfortunately those two people happen to be Natasha and Clint.

"If she falls into the wrong hands, she could make a dangerous enemy. Again," Fury sighs as he leans against his desk. This is one project that has been exhausting and demanding. SHIELD needs to keep Hydra off her trail. And that is easier said than done.

"Sir, are you sure it's wise to have her back in SHIELD's custody?" Natasha suddenly asks. She understands what Valerie is going through. The Red Room had made life more than just a living hell. Seeing Valerie only brings back traumatic memories that she would rather keep buried.

"We don't have another choice," Fury replies. He looks at her calmly before speaking again, "Keep checking up on her, once a month. If she changes her mind see if you can convince her to join SHIELD. We're always looking for new recruits."

"Understood, sir." Natasha frowns as she leaves the room. This mission is not going to be an easy one. Convincing a sixteen year old to join SHIELD was like convincing a cat to learn a new trick: Almost impossible.

. . .

I'm huddled under a pile of blankets as I get back from a day of walking. The room I was hiding in was cold, colder than the air outside. So I had to wrap myself in blankets and a thick coat in order to stay warm, especially during the night. It doesn't bother me though. The blankets feel like a warm cocoon, protecting me from the outside world. Plus it is more comfortable than sleeping on the lumpy sofa. The sofa itself is in bad shape, with patches of fabric being torn and the cushions sinking almost to the floor as I lay on it.

As for the room itself, it is small and cramped. All it has going for it is the fact that I have shelter. I managed to find a small television that I connected the cable line to. When I found that old thing I hacked into someone's account in order to get a basic cable package, just to keep up with the news. I enjoy making sure that nothing big is going on around me. And aside from the explosion nearby, nothing really has happened.

The walls are painted a bleak white color, and the carpet is stained and ragged looking. For the most part I have gotten used to this dump. It isn't much, but it is better than nothing. Maybe one day I could find a job and pay for an actual apartment. Considering I stay here for free, I should and am thankful that I don't need money.

I hold back a sigh as I look down at the manilla folder Natasha gave me. The papers inside are yet even more files. But what catches my eye is what's written on the files. They were files of people that SHIELD has been keeping on their list for the last ten years to twenty years. My eyes narrow when I see names that are familiar to me. Some of the names I've seen in history lessons at the program. And others are names that I have grown up with.

_**Name: Albert Vanzin,**_

_**Son of Roark Vanzin and Vanessa Vanzin. Former an operation known simply as the Program. Albert Vanzin is known for his cruelty and cunning mind. Twenty years ago he was recruited by the Red Room to form an agency in the United States, to expand their dream. Albert exceeded their dream, recruiting more than a hundred students across the globe. Upon further inspection, it was discovered that those working for Albert were ordered to kill the families of those who are recruited to the Program. The victims, riddled with guilt or anger, usually choose to join the Program shortly after. But those who do not are executed to show that weakness will not be tolerated**_.

My hands start shaking as I finish reading the file. I remember watching those executions. They were horrible, because everyone was forced to watch them. To make matters worse it was usually a slow and painful execution. Some of the new recruits would either break down at the sight while others would get sick and ask to leave. And of course leaving was a sign of being a coward. After a while I had gotten used to the sight, though it would and still does give me horrible nightmares. I can still remember the horrific screams that would nearly bleed my ears out.

I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts. They were memories I'd rather keep buried. I knew that the past couldn't be erased. Even if they are able to wipe out your mind there are still some things that can't be forgotten. I know that from experience. I decide to continue reading the files and find one that really catches my interest.

_**Name: Robert Hirsch,**_

_**Robert Hirsch is the father of Valerie and Annabelle Hirsch. Husband to Nichole Hirsch. Robert Hirsch once worked for Hydra, ten years prior to getting married and having children. He was the brain child of forming the Program before he realized what the Red Room was really up to. It was reported that Albert Vanzin was sent to kill both Robert and Nichole. When the two surviving children discover the death of their parents, Albert would be asked to recruit them to the Program.**_

_**It is believed that Robert and Albert were good friends before Albert deflected to Russia. Soon after Robert fled to North America in order to escape Hydra and live a better life. Because of his actions SHIELD has been monitoring Robert. If something should happen use extensive force, keep him from contacting Hydra in any way possible**_.

All that keeps me from screaming is the fact that I know SHIELD is watching me. My own father was working for Hydra? And he was the mastermind behind the Red Room's new Program? Now I could see why 'Sven' was so desperate to recruit me. He probably knew all along what my father had done. I keep biting the bottom of my lip; the more I think about it the more it makes sense. All those nights he would disappear into his office suddenly remind me of how secretive my family was.

What would Annie say if she discovered the truth? I know that it isn't possible; Annie was killed along with the rest of my family. Albert must have known all along that I would join the Program when that happened. I let anger and hurt blind my faith in people.

I stop reading and toss the files aside. There is nothing on the files that I want to keep reading. But something else slides out of the folder. I raise an eyebrow when I notice that it's a picture. Glancing around warily, I lean forward so that I can grab it. Then my eyes widen when I see who is in the photo.

Two figures stand next to a pumpkin, dressed in Halloween costumes. One is dressed as a Disney princess while the other is dressed as a witch. I fight back a laugh, realizing that the witch is a younger version of me. And the Disney princess is Annie. I still remember mom forcing us to dress up for Trick-Or-Treat. The fuss I put up back than; and I still hate wearing costumes. The only outfit I would wear is a protective suit during a battle.

Why would this be in that folder? Most of the other files were lists of what people had done in their lifetime. But this is just a picture of something that happened in the past. I turn the picture around and notice writing on the back. My eyes narrow in confusion as I realize that the writing is in a different language, Latin from what it looks like. The handwriting reminds me of Natasha's, and I realize that she must have written the message for a reason.

'_Valerie, your sister is still alive. SHIELD has been keeping an eye on you both, to ensure your safety—Natasha_'

"We have just received word from the New York Police Department that Captain America is paying the city a visit…." I look up in surprise when the volume suddenly turns up on the television. "Not only is he going to be giving a speech in front of the new office building, but he will also be giving his assistance in the investigation involving the explosion that occurred here yesterday."

The news reporter is standing in front of what is left of a church that had been the victim of an explosion. Luckily no one was inside, but the explosion did raise questions as to why it occurred in the first place. I look at the screen in confusion.

What did Captain America have to do with the explosions? I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Hydra might be involved. If that's the case than maybe it is time to move again. I don't want Rogers to find my hiding place. Even if SHIELD already knows of my location, his loyalty is to Fury. And he might do anything in his power to take me back.

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><p><strong>AN: So here's the second chapter. I know this is starting out slow, but it will get more exciting, trust me. I also wanted to say that there will be a few things from the movies that are included, but aside from that most of what is written comes from my own plotline. Thanks to Guest and Spinosa for reviewing!<strong>

**Guest: They may or may not meet again ;) I'm not making any promises!**


	3. Hail Hydra

**Chapter Three**

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><p><em>"Hey, that sounds like my luck, I get the short end of it Oh I love to be, I love to be the underdog, Hey! Hey, that sounds like my luck, I get the short end of it Oh I love to be, I love to be the underdog, Hey..." Underdog, Imagine Dragons<em>

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><p>It's early in the morning, and I'm on the move again. I wander past the new police station that was mentioned on the news. The building is large, twice the size of the older one. And I notice that cops are standing outside in anticipation of Captain America's arrival. My eyes narrow when I spot Captain George Stacy standing amongst his coworkers. Above everyone else he seems to be the most proud. I can already see a Captain America fan in the making now.<p>

I roll my eyes and wander towards the edge of the crowd. Right now I'm wearing a heavy coat that hides my face, and for that I'm thankful. SHIELD may have taken me off of the FBI's most wanted list, but that didn't stop police officers from tracking me down every now and than.

A crowd starts to gather as a car passes through with the SHIELD logo printed on it. I watch with interest when it stops in the center, the crowd parting to let it through. It's not that I wanted to see Steve again, but I was curious as to how he would help find the culprits. As the Avenger with the super soldier serum, he is more than capable of stopping just about any enemy. But there are some enemies that can't be stopped with sheer strength. I of all people should know that much.

"Captain Rogers, do you know if Hydra is behind this attack?"

"Captain 'Merica, can you sign my picture?"

I couldn't help but grin when a kid asks that question. Almost at once the crowd starts asking questions. A marching band is gathered in the front of the building, playing the Star Spangled Banner. Wow, Captain Stacy really went all out. I try not to laugh as Steve look at the crowd in embarrassment. He is dressed in his Captain America suit, formal as always. A group of SHIELD agents gather around him, armed and ready. It's than that I notice Natasha is standing next to him.

My smile fades instantly when she notices me standing in the back of the crowd. Thankfully she doesn't make a scene. Instead she looks away and whispers something to Steve, who simply nods and signs the picture the little boy had handed him earlier. The crowd of spectators continue asking questions until he has answered them all. Moments later and he heads for the podium set up in front of the building, standing next to Captain Stacy.

"Captain America, it is an honor to have you hear today at the unveiling of the New York City Police Department building," Captain Stacy begins. "Would you like to share a few words of what is to come after this?"

"As a matter of fact I would," Steve replies after clearing his throat. He takes the stand and watches the crowd warily. I watch carefully, biting the bottom of my lip as he begins his short but sweet address, "I know that these are difficult times. That the enemy is still out there. But I promise you that I will catch this enemy, and when I do, they will be put behind bars and face the justice they deserve."

I tilt my head to one side out of curiosity. That wasn't much of a speech, but of course the crowd was already cheering in encouragement. Once the speech is said and done, the crowd is allowed inside the building to see what it looks like. I continue standing outside, unsure whether or not it's a good idea to follow.

That's when I notice something is off in the crowd. They start parting to reveal someone standing in the center. I stare in recognition at the figure staring right at me. Dread washes over me as the crowd starts to panic, realizing what is happening. In a matter of seconds the street is turned into a war zone as shots are fired. I dodge every bullet before turning to run. I'm not going to let these people get injured, not if I can prevent it.

It feels like the world is spinning when a cold metal arm suddenly reaches for my shoulder, twisting me around so that I am now facing my attacker.

"Ты пойдешь со мной," he says in a low whisper. Chills run down my spine at the words. I know for a fact that the Winter Soldier is working for Hydra. I don't know too much about him, only that he is an assassin who was also given the super soldier serum. What makes him stand apart though is the metal bionic arm.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," I snap, prying my shoulder away from his grip. He stares at me with calculating brown eyes before pulling out a dagger. With precise movement he manages to catch me by surprise and leave a nasty cut on my cheek. Before he can attack again I swipe his legs out from underneath him, causing him to trip. The distraction gives me enough time to make an escape, which I use to the fullest.

The Winter Soldier manages to recover, but by the time he does I've made a beeline for an empty alleyway. We were far enough away that anyone at the grand opening wouldn't get harmed. I barely have enough time to catch my breath when I feel cold metal press against my neck. I know by instinct what it is. The familiar touch of a gun will never leave my memory.

"Я знаю, кто ты," he says as he presses the barrel into my skin. "Отказ кто заслуживает смерти."

My body reacts faster than my mind. The Winter Soldier is stunned for a moment as I reach for the pistol and pry it out of his hand. With my other hand I manage to knock the breath out of him. In the heat of the moment I notice that he is still holding on to the dagger from earlier. In one swift movement he manages to plunge the dagger into my chest. Immediately pain surges through me like a bolt of lightning.

Stars appear at the edge of my vision. The Winter Soldier catches me before I fall over, muttering something else in Russian. His face is the last thing I see before blacking out.

. . .

Captain Stacy is having difficulty keeping the crowd under control as they start to panic. Steve is standing next to Natasha as she reports to Fury what has happened. No one is sure as to what has happened, only that someone has set a bomb off during the ceremony.

"Did you happen to see anything unusual?" Captain Stacy questions one of the police officers that offers to stay behind and help. The rest are already on the run looking for the culprit.

"I'm afraid not, sir," the officer replies. "But we did notice someone with a metal arm." He looks at Natasha when she stiffens in shock.

"Nat, what's wrong?" Steve looks at Natasha warily. But as quickly as the shock has appeared, it disappears seconds later. Steve doesn't miss the fact that she is hiding her emotions once again. Clearly something has struck a nerve.

"Alright, we've got forces dispatched on every street I can think of," Captain Stacy sighs. He sounds tired as he turns to face the two Avengers. "I'm sorry that had to happen, today of all days."

"It's not your fault," Steve tells him reassuringly.

"No, but it can and should have been prevented," Stacy replies with a shake of his head. "I made a promise that I can't seem to keep."

Natasha rolls her eyes before stepping away from the two. She knows who the attacker was all too well. He has already tried killing her once before, and will not hesitate to do so again. And she knows exactly who he is after. Fury's words suddenly make more sense than ever after today's events.

If she falls into the wrong hands, things will only get worse. And not even SHIELD will be able to stop her or the enemies they face.

. . .

I wake up, feeling a sharp pain in my chest. My vision is still blurry as I take in my surroundings. I'm strapped to a chair, in a room with walls that appear to be concrete. My fists start clenching as I struggle against my restraints. But the pain in my chest becomes too much, and soon I'm exhausted.

"Good, you're awake." I stiffen at the voice. Looking up, I notice someone is standing in the room, hiding in the shadows. "With SHIELD monitoring your every move, I'm surprised they haven't found you yet. Perhaps they don't even care." He steps out of the shadows and smirks when I glare at him. "Or perhaps they believe you are better off dead."

The guy looks strangely familiar. I think I remember reading files on him in the folder Natasha gave me. He has blondish gray hair and is wearing a suit. What really catches my eye is the pin he is wearing. The pin has eight arms and the body of an octopus. I can recognize that symbol anywhere, not just from the news but from the Program as well.

"What do you want with me?" I demand, narrowing my eyes with all the hatred I can muster. Truthfully I am terrified. I've heard horror stories about Hydra and what they do to their captives. Hydra makes the Program sound like paradise. Rumors spread in the Program that Hydra ran experiments on the people they capture, and torture them until they break. Unlike the Program Hydra was ruthless and unpredictable.

"It's not you I want dear," the man replies. "It's your blood that I am after." I stiffen as he walks towards me. "The 'Program' that trained you stole a serum from Hydra, years before you even joined it. What your blood contains belongs to Hydra."

I stare at him in shock. There are always stories about how the Red Room would often steal from other agencies. And this is no different. But the fact remains that if he is telling the truth, than he's right. My fists clench again as I try struggling from my restraints. He is close enough to touch me now, brushing a hand through my hair. Without warning I suddenly throw my knee up so that it collides with his chest. He stumbles back, choking back a cry of shock.

"I think I would rather die than work for you," I retort, my voice becoming icy cold.

"I am afraid dear, that that isn't possible," he says, his own voice sounding out like a growl. It sends shivers through me as he straightens up and dusts off his pants. "The serum makes it so that you cannot die. Your father was truly a genius when he discovered that serum."

All that keeps me from screaming is the fact that he has mentioned my father. I know that my father worked for Hydra. But I didn't know that he is, _was_ the creator of the serum that had been given to me. I suddenly remember the serum I had stolen from that scientist, and wondered if that belonged to Hydra as well.

"Like I said, I'm not going to be your puppet." I try to keep my voice steady as he smirks in amusement.

"You'll see things differently when we're finished with you," he tells me. "And maybe, just maybe, we will let you go if you cooperate with us."

I continue glaring at him as he leaves. Once again I am left alone to think of what would happen next. Something tells me that this is only the beginning of something far worse.


	4. Captive

**Chapter Four**

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><p><em>"Let's play a game, Where all of the lives we lead can change Let's play a game, Where nothing that we can see, the same..." Au Revoir, OneRepublic<em>

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><p>Pain surges through me as a hand slaps across my face. The man from earlier sneers in contentment when he sees the red mark his hand leaves. As he steps back I breath out a sigh of relief, knowing that for now the torture session is over.<p>

"Just remember, you can make this easier if you agree," he says before leaving the room.

I know what to expect next time. I've lost track of the time I spent here, but I do know that a few days have passed. The man in question is known as Marcus. His last name is still unknown, but at this point I don't care.

So far he's tried breaking me through hour long sessions that consisted of beating, burns and even worse treatment. It's nothing I haven't gone through in the Program. What really gets me though is the fact that I have to endure this once again.

As he gives me time to recover until the next session, I think back his offer. If I give in Hydra could have their greatest weapon. Or I could keep refusing and make life ten times worse for me. My mind keeps churning with anxiety at these thoughts. I don't want to betray SHIELD, even if I don't trust them. My hands start shaking the more I think about it. No, I'm not going to give myself away. Not when there is so much at stake.

. . .

"You know who was behind that attack." Steve stands in front of Natasha, giving her an accusing look. Natasha keeps on a calm posture. "Why aren't you saying anything?"

Natasha suddenly looks around to make sure that no one else is watching or listening. After the chaos in the new police station, they decide to get away before things go from bad to worse. And of course Steve has to get suspicious now of all times.

"They call him the Winter Soldier," she begins as memories of the scene resurface. The fact that the Winter Soldier has been there makes her realize that he is after Valerie. Seeing her there was a little surprising, considering she has been avoiding SHIELD for the past two years. "He was targeting someone, and he's a master assassin."

"And that someone happened to be at the opening ceremony?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.

She bites the bottom of her lip, knowing that sooner or later Steve will find out who the Winter Soldier is after.

"Look, SHIELD has been keeping track of her since she 'went off the grid'," she explains. Steve folds his arms when he realizes who Natasha is referring to. "But it doesn't matter now." She sighs and leans against the wall. "The Winter Soldier never misses his target."

. . .

"One more time." I wince at the pain that follows as a needle buries itself into my arm. They aren't extracting my blood; they're doing something far worse. After an hour the wounds Marcus inflicted have already healed. But now a group of scientists walked in just seconds ago and are running experiments.

"These samples should keep her under control," the first scientist says after cleaning up the mess they created.

I ignore them and try thinking of anything but what they're doing to me. I can't take much more of this. The serum they inject keep causing an intense pain that feels like someone is ripping me apart from the inside.

"That's enough." My shoulders sag in relief when Marcus steps inside. "Let us have a moment alone." He nods to them as the scientists look on in disappointment. My nails dig into the chair when we are left alone once again.

"I'm not doing anything for you," I spit. Vile rises in my throat, and I almost vomit when Marcus glares at me. Whatever those scientists did to me is making me feel sick.

"I was afraid you would continue saying that," Marcus replies. He scowls before putting a hand on my shoulder, pushing as hard as he can. "When are you going to learn that stubborn nature will get you nowhere? Your life would be much better off if you just accepted my offer."

Not like it matters much now. No one would bother looking for me anyways. I was alone this time. But that didn't mean I would let him control me.

"You can do anything you want to me, but I won't break," I tell him. "You can break something that's already broken."

Marcus stares at me with a mixture of surprise and anger. For the first time I admit something that I haven't said in years. I was, _am_ broken. Nothing can fix the damage that has already been done. Even if Marcus manages to cause more pain and damage, it won't effect me.

"Well than, it looks like I'll have to do things differently." I look at Marcus in confusion. He smirks in amusement before pulling out a knife that is stained red with blood. Marcus is about to lean over when a crackling sound erupts around us.

"Sir, someone has discovered our base!" My eyes shift over to the com placed in the corner of the room.

"Looks like you've taken on more than you can handle," I murmur. The glare Marcus gives me is almost laughable. Clearly he wasn't expecting anyone to find his base so quickly. But that leads me to believe it wasn't just some random person who stumbled upon the base.

As Marcus turns to leave he suddenly pulls the chair I'm sitting on, dragging it behind him. I force back a scream of agony, remembering the serum that is still in effect.

"Do you know who is behind the attack?" Marcus speaks through an earpiece, making it impossible to hear what the other side is saying.

It doesn't matter though. Right now I'm almost wishing that the serum had killed me. The pain felt like nothing I'd ever endured before.

"Let the girl go!" Marcus stops when someone suddenly shouts the order. My eyes narrow at the unfamiliar tone. I wonder if the Winter Soldier is around, or if he is moved from base to base like I had been.

"And what makes you think I will do that?" he demands. In seconds the chair I'm strapped to tumbles to the side. My teeth grind together as I struggle against my restraints once more. The grip has begun to go slack, and suddenly I'm able to wriggle around my wrists again.

"Because we have the place surrounded. You really don't want to know what will happen if you refuse," the intruder replies. His voice is eerily calm, and as I turn I get a better view of him.

To my surprise I see someone very familiar standing in front of us, holding a gun. He is wearing a suit that I've seen many times in pictures from the SHIELD database. From the rumors I heard he is supposed to be dead.

The restraints are suddenly lose, and before either man can make a move I leap to my feet and punch Marcus so hard in the face that it sends him flying. He collides into a wall nearby before blacking out from the stabbing pain.

"Like I said, I'm already broken," I mutter so that the SHIELD agent doesn't hear.

I turn so that I'm facing the said agent. He's still holding on to the gun, aiming it at me. I can't blame him for reacting that way. After what I just did he's probably freaking out, unless Director Fury informed him of who I am.

"Valerie… Hirsch I assume?" he asks slowly. I nod before clutching my stomach once again. The pain from earlier replaces the adrenaline that kept me going seconds ago. But it doesn't stop me from keeping my distance. SHIELD agent or not I was still suspicious. "It's okay, I'm not here to hurt you," he says in a reassuring tone. "My name is—" I stop him before he can continue.

"I know who you are," I reply. My voice sounds shaky, and I struggle to stand up straight as the pain becomes overwhelming. He rushes to my side when I suddenly fall, helping me up. "Why are you here?" I ask, trying to keep myself from choking out the words.

"I was sent here by Director Fury," he explains. "When we received word that the Winter Soldier was near your coordinates, we acted as quickly as possible. I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner."

He holds on to me as I start to feel dizzy. I've blacked out too many times, but it seems that won't stop me from doing so again. The agent says something that I can't hear. Everything else became too much as my vision started going black yet again.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks Spinosa for reviewing! Before anyone starts asking, no this doesn't take place during the Winter Soldier. Like I said before, a few elements from the movies and even the comics are included in all of my stories.<br>**


	5. A New Team

**Chapter Five**

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><p><em>"Long live the young at heart, You know who you are With your spirit burning, Take a risk and take a chance Carry on, Long live the soul set free Don't be afraid to dream, While the world's still turning Every moment, make it happen, With two left feet Keep on dancing..." Long Live, For King and Country<em>

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><p>My head is throbbing with pain as my eyes start to open. For a moment I'm confused as to where I am. The room doesn't look like anything I've been familiar with. No scientists are glaring down at me, stabbing me with new serums they've just created. And I don't see Marcus anywhere either.<p>

"Her blood is really quite fascinating; I've never seen anything like it." I freeze at the strange accent.

Slowly I turned my head to see two people standing at a desk, looking at holographic files. The first person who spoke has a British accent, and she has long dirty-blond hair. Standing next to her is a man around her age with curly brown hair. The lab coats make my eyes narrow with hate and recognition.

"I don't want to believe it, what those Hydra soldiers did to her," the second scientist murmurs. Again with a British accent. I try sitting up straight only to find that I'm strapped down yet again to a bed. "It's a wonder she survived at all," he adds with a shake of his head.

"Well, according to the blood sample we received, she was given a serum that lets her survive even the deepest of wounds," the female explains.

My teeth grind together as I struggle against my restraints. The two scientists suddenly realize that I'm awake and stare at me in shock. It is obvious they weren't expecting me to wake up so suddenly. They exchange a look before the woman gives me a a sickeningly sympathetic smile.

"I apologize for the restraints," she tells me. "Agent Coulson thought it would be wise to keep you here until you recovered."

I suddenly remember the agent who had saved me from the Hydra soldiers. So that _was_ agent Coulson. The files I read on him made it sound like he is a hero, quite possibly the best one. He sacrificed his life to get the Avengers working together. And yet somehow he is alive, probably watching us right now.

"What's the damage this time?" I mutter, keeping my voice oddly quiet. The male flinches as if he isn't expecting me to ask that question. I look at him warily before trying to shake off the uneasy feeling.

"Well, you've recovered remarkably fast from your injuries but…." The female pauses and looks over at her partner, who shrugs and looks down at his feet shamefully. "Whatever those Hydra soldiers did to you is progressive. We've been testing the blood sample we received, and it's…." She stops for a moment, biting the bottom of her lip. I eye her cautiously as she searches for the right words. Clearly it is something more horrific than they've had experience with. "Let's just say that you shouldn't get angry," she finally finishes.

I look at her in confusion, but before I can ask what she means by that, a familiar agent steps inside. Like Natasha he keeps on a straight face as he looks down at me apologetically.

"You can remove the restraints," he says to the scientists. "I'm sorry, but because of what happened back there I wasn't sure how you would react when you woke up," he explains to me.

"I understand." After the two rush to remove the restraints, I sit up and relax, but only a little.

"Listen, I'm sure you have a few questions—" I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"You're agent Phil Coulson, and while you're supposed to be dead I'm sure that you have a good reason for being alive." He looks at me in surprise as I only shrug. "Lets just say that I have inside sources."

"I figured that much. Agent Romanoff has been keeping in touch with you, along with agent Barton," he tells me with a sheepish smile.

This time it's my turn to look surprised. I should have known that was what they were up to. But I will admit that it's nice to know someone cares about me. As much as I hate to say it I'm thankful SHIELD has been watching over me.

"So why are you alive?" I ask warily.

"It's… complicated," he replies.

That peeks my interest. So he doesn't know. It sounds like SHIELD is not only keeping secrets from me, but highly respected agents as well. I start to feel better now as the serum's effects start to ware off.

"Where are we?" I hate asking questions. It made me feel like I didn't know anything.

"That information I'm afraid is classified," he tells me.

Right, of course. SHIELD isn't going to tell me where I am. Not until they either force me to join them or throw me into prison. Agent Coulson seems to read my mind, because his smile turns to a frown.

By now the pain from earlier has finally ended. I feel relief wash over me as I try standing up. That's when I realize something isn't right. The ground feels like it's moving. Almost like it's swaying from side to side, or up and down. From where I stand it's hard to tell.

"Are we on the Helicarrier?" I suddenly ask, the relief from earlier fading.

The last thing I want is to speak with Director Fury. Natasha has already told me that SHIELD wants me to join them. Not just for their own relief but for my safety as well. But I am in no hurry to throw my life away to an organization I don't trust.

"You're close," Coulson replies. "Come with me, if you're able. There's some people I'd like you to meet."

I watch him warily before deciding that he can be trusted. He is regarded with high respect by the Avengers. Clint had looked up to him, and even Tony often spoke highly of him. And I know how hard it is to please that bastard.

We walk through a narrow hallway before proceeding to the left, down a flight of stairs. If this place is anything like the Helicarrier than I know it's going to be big. But to my surprise I see that it's smaller than I expected. Only a small living space can be seen, connecting to a series of interrogation rooms and an office. My eyes narrow with suspicion when I see four people sitting around the living space.

"It's fine, they're not a threat," Coulson says in a reassuring tone when he notices that I'm frozen. "I'd like you to meet my team."

"Exactly what are you playing at?" I suddenly demand. Coulson looks at me in confusion before I continue, "You're making it sound like I actually _want_ to be part of SHIELD. I refuse to be anyone's puppet."

"Valerie, no one is asking you, or forcing you to join SHIELD." I don't miss the look of disappointment flashing in his eyes. "I've been asked by Director Fury to take you somewhere safe. And that's exactly what I plan on doing."

I look at him doubtfully. Director Fury wanted me in prison. Just like everyone else. With a shake of my head, I decide to trust him. Just this once. He knows what I can do if things go south.

The two scientists from earlier stand up almost immediately as Coulson reaches the living space. Standing beside them is a brunette I've never seen before. On their other side is an agent I've seen files on at the Program. He refuses to meet my gaze as I glare at him.

"I'm sorry we didn't get the chance to properly introduce ourselves," the female scientist says. Her voice is sympathetic, but she doesn't show it. "My name is Jemma Simmons, and this is Leo Fitz." Leo simply looks at me in embarrassment.

"I'm a bit new here, but I've heard a lot about you," the brunette puts in. "My name is Skye."

"You're the one who hacked into SHIELD," I state in an accusing tone. Skye stiffens when I recount what she has done a few months ago. Clearly she isn't expecting me to know of that. I can thank Natasha for that information.

"And you're the one who supposedly can't die," the agent standing beside Leo says. He folds his arms and gives me a calculated look. Awkward silence follows.

I never did understand why the Program had files on this guy. From what I gather he's one of SHIELD's top agents. But that didn't mean his loyalty is with someone else.

"The stiff over here is agent Grant Ward," Skye introduces him with a roll of her eyes. Grant shoots her a wary look before shrugging it off. I notice for the first time that Skye adds a bit of humor in her tone. She's trying to break off the tension.

Despite the awkward silence, I can already see the making of a team. Like the Avengers they seem to have their own qualities that makes them unique. Fitz and Simmons are incredibly intelligent from what I gathered back in the medical bay. Skye is a hacker and has already hacked into SHIELD's database. And Grant…. I'm still not sure what to make of him. The fact that the Program had a file on him already makes him suspicious.

"You chose wisely," I state as the group disperses. Coulson stands behind me with his arms folded, like he's not sure what to make of our little exchange.

"They still need a bit of work, cooperating as a team," he explains. "But they are getting better. It's more a matter of getting along with one another than anything else."

I bite back a laugh when he says that. If only he knew how 'well' the Avengers got along. Compared to them this team seems picture perfect. But I'm guessing there are a lot of secrets the team is keeping from Coulson.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks again Spinosa for reviewing!<strong>


	6. Surprise Destination

**Chapter Six**

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><p><em>"Come let Your glory arise, And shine as the nations collide with Your story Love overtaking our lives, Arise as our hearts come alight with Your glory..." Nova, Hillsong United<em>

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><p>"Sir, we've reached our destination." A voice sounds over the intercom, different from the rest. I raise an eyebrow at agent Coulson as he gives me another sheepish smile.<p>

"You haven't met agent May. She's one of the best pilots I can think of," he explains carefully. I'm ready to make a retort when I think better of it. Agent Coulson seems friendly enough. And he is kind enough to offer me a place to sleep during the flight.

According to Coulson I had been out for two days when they rescued me. It makes me wonder how long I was held captive again. It could be weeks or even months, though I doubt it would have been that long. I'm just relieved to be out of that place.

We're in what he calls the BUS. It's actually a large black plane that was given to Coulson before the team was formed. Fury wanted an extra team that is always on the move, just in case there are threats that the Avengers or SHIELD can't react to fast enough. Because a group of superheros and a major government organization isn't enough. I shake my head at the thought, knowing that soon enough I will be off this plane and safely on the ground.

Coulson is standing nearby, keeping an eye on me. Skye and Ward wandered off to the training room a few minutes ago. Fitz and Simmons are somewhere in the lab studying the blood samples they had taken. According to Jemma the scientists that did this to me are lucky they didn't give a higher dosage, whatever that means. Either way it means that either I'm screwed, or everyone around me are. I'm not sure which is worse.

"Where exactly are we going?" I ask warily.

"I made a promise to Fury that I just can't keep," Coulson sighs. He leans against a wall and looks at me once more. "We're about to meet someone who might make a big impact on your life," he adds; he sounds almost nervous.

I look out the tiny window to see that we are landing in what appears to be an abandoned airport. There are no other planes to be seen. Small buildings that used to be the communication center loom in the distance. Tufts of grass and weeds start to grow through the asphalt that was once used as the runway. This place looks like it hasn't been used in years. As the plane skids to a stop I notice rust coating the fences barricading the airport.

"Alright, we shouldn't be too long," Coulson announces as the team gathers once more. My eyes narrow when I see someone new standing in the background. She narrows her own eyes when we lock gazes. "Agent May, you keep an eye on the place. Skye, Ward, you're with us."

The woman in the background nods before turning back towards the hall. I don't miss the guns strapped to her waste. She seems to be the only agent around here who is prepared. I'm sure that Grant has a few hiding places, and Skye is still new. Fitz and Simmons don't seem like the type of people who would enjoy violence.

"How exactly do we go on about this?" Ward asks. "This isn't like a normal mission." He shoots me another glare. I only glare back, remembering the fact that I don't trust him one bit.

"We act like normal civilians, out on a trip," Coulson replies. "I think you get the idea." He nods to Skye, who blushes in embarrassment. I roll my eyes when I notice Ward is suddenly uncomfortable around the new agent in training.

"Sounds simple enough," I mutter with a shrug. I have no idea what Coulson is getting me into. But I have a feeling it's not something I'm going to enjoy.

. . .

Annie sits at the table, chewing the end of her pencil as she concentrates. The math problem in front of her is a difficult equation. She may be an A+ student, but that doesn't mean she still has trouble understanding certain equations. And this one has her stumped.

It's been two years since she discovered that her sister was still alive, until that explosion in the Badlands. She hasn't recovered yet since than, not fully at least. She has become more isolated from her peers than ever. It is difficult to explain to her adopted parents why she is so upset. They will never understand what she is going through.

"Annie, can you help me with my homework?" Sophie's whine makes her roll her eyes. Her new sister has become the vein of her existence. Sophie is always asking questions about her homework and whether or not Annie can help her. Of course Annie could help her, but she is so busy with her own life as it is. "Please? Please?" Sophie starts tugging at Annie's skirt, a pleading look in her eyes.

"Go and pester someone else," Annie shoes her away, focusing on her own math equation. She can't seem to get the variables right. Something about the equation is off. Annie holds back a groan of frustration when she hears a soft whimpering noise.

"Mom, Annie's being mean!" Sophie starts to cry. Annie resists the urge to throw a fist. She knows better; Sophie is still young and doesn't understand the need for silence. But that doesn't stop Annie from wishing there is some way to shut the girl up.

Thankfully mother doesn't do anything. Eventually Sophie gives up and sits at the table, grumbling under her breath. Annie raises an eyebrow before finishing the rest of her equation. She is grateful that it's the last bit of homework for the week. Fridays are her favorite days of the week, because it leads straight to the weekend. Now that she is a senior at high school, work has gotten tougher than ever. She needs the break more than ever.

Annie puts away the rest of her homework and wanders into the living room, where dad is watching Modern Family. She pauses to see what's so funny before shrugging it off. It seems like nothing out of the ordinary will happen this weekend. And she is perfectly fine with that.

. . .

I'm sitting next to Coulson in a red car that he calls 'Lola'. Apparently he is very possessive over it, not letting anyone touch it or drive it. Or I should say '_her_'. What catches my eye are all the buttons and gears he has installed on it. No normal car would have such necessities. Skye and Ward are close behind us, keeping an eye out for anything unusual.

We've been on the road since early this morning. The traffic is heavy, and we are driving along the coastline. It doesn't take me long to realize where we are. I recognize these buildings from my first real mission back when I was part of the Program. Tall mountains loom in the distance, looking closer than they appear. The Spanish style homes make my stomach twist as I think back to what happened the last time I was here.

Coulson finally slows down as we pull into a small community nearby. The homes are bigger than I was expecting. And one house in particular catches my attention. It's an older home with gray walls and cedar-stained French doors in the front. A porch wraps around the house, opening out to a fairly large yard.

"Why here?" I ask as Coulson parks nearby.

"Just stay calm, and don't panic," Coulson replies.

Now I'm starting to get nervous. Agent Coulson just gives me a reassuring smile before leading the way to the porch. I stifle a sigh of frustration and follow, looking for any escape routes possible. Skye and Grant are parked a few blocks from here. I can see the black van in the distance.

I stand next to Coulson as he knocks on the door, noticing the SHIELD badge he is holding on to. From what I've gathered from Skye, the SHIELD badge was like a ticket to get anywhere. It's basically the ultimate ticket. Seeing the badge only reminds me that I don't want to join SHIELD.

A few seconds pass until someone answers the door. His eyes widen in surprise when he sees Coulson standing there.

"I'm agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD," Coulson explains before the stranger can ask who he is. "We're here to talk, peacefully of course." He nods to me as the stranger glances over at me. I look around anywhere but him.

"We haven't done anything illegal, I assure you," he says as he lets us inside. I don't miss the look of worry in his eyes. Clearly he was caught off guard by our sudden arrival.

"I know. That's not what we're here for." Coulson raises an eyebrow as two girls walk into the room.

My heart nearly skips a beat when I see someone hauntingly familiar. It's like staring into a mirror, only her hair is a lighter blond. The girl's eyes widen when she locks gazes with me. All that keeps me from rushing over is the fact that I know this isn't a dream. Surprisingly she's the first to speak, still in a state of shock.

"Valerie?"

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><p><strong>AN: Big thanks to Ellethwen of Lothlorien and Spinosa for reviewing! Your reviews are greatly appreciated :D<strong>


	7. Bitter Reunion

**Chapter Seven**

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><p><em>"Maybe you and I we're never meant to be complete, Could we just be broken together If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine, Could healing still be spoken and save us The only way we'll last forever is broken together..." Broken Together, Casting Crowns<em>

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><p>Tears start falling down from Annie's eyes as she stares at me. For a moment we just stand there, too speechless to move or say another word. A few seconds pass before Annie recovers from the shock and suddenly slaps me across the face. Agent Coulson is ready to jump to my defense, but I raise a hand for him to stop. I deserve all the pain she can deliver.<p>

"I thought…. I thought you were dead!" Annie screams. Her father looks at us in disbelief. Correction, her _adoptive_ father. "When I got back from my trip they told me that you were dead! And I believed them!" Her eyes are getting red now from crying. I bite back the shame and grief that starts to wash over. "They wanted me to join that program but I…. I couldn't." Finally she drops to her knees, covering her face in her hands.

"Who is they?" Coulson and her adoptive father say at the same time. The two exchange questioning looks, but her adoptive father only shrugs it off.

"The Red Room," I mutter under my breath. My hands start shaking with fury. Annie is smart enough to know better than to trust a group of people that suddenly approach her. Unlike her I was stupid enough to believe them.

"They said something about giving life a second chance…. That I could get my revenge on whoever…." Annie stops herself from saying what needs to be said.

They used the same words with me. I can still remember that awful day, returning home to find our parents were dead. According to the people that had spoken to me, they were murdered. But they had never made it clear as to who had committed the crime.

Suddenly it becomes too much. All of the pain and fear from earlier suddenly returns. Without warning I turn and start to run, only to be stopped by Coulson as he wraps his arms around my waste. I jam my elbow into his stomach, causing him to release me for a brief second. Tears begin to blur my vision as I run out of the door and onto the porch. I can see Skye and Grant getting out of the car parked nearby, but that doesn't stop me from trying to get away.

"Valerie." A hand reaches out for my shoulder, slowing me to a stop.

"Sir," I begin, biting back the grief that sounds in my voice, "this was a mistake. You and I both know that this life was never meant to be mine."

"I understand that this is difficult for you," Coulson says. The gentle tone in his voice makes me feel even worse. "But you're not alone. You're not the only one who was effected by the tragedy that occurred that day."

I turn to see Annie standing on the porch, her eyes wide with shock. The pain from earlier returns almost at once. I don't think I'm ready to face my past. Not yet at least. But it seems as though I have no choice. I can't just leave now, not when I knew the Red Room was targeting Annie as well. I'm not going to put her life in danger.

. . .

"I wish I could've been there," Annie murmurs. The sympathy in her voice makes me sick, but I say nothing. Instead I look out towards the field that seems to go on forever. Behind Annie's house is a large open field. A single old oak tree grows in the middle of it, with a tree house built at the top. I would love to have something like this to hide out in; it was like a miniature apartment in here. "I spent a lot of time up here after I was adopted, thinking about that day."

"Don't blame yourself for it," I try saying in a reassuring tone. Of course I would fail miserably. "I'm just glad that you weren't stupid enough to listen to them." I wrap my arms around my knees as I sit down on the wooden floor.

Annie looks back at me, and it doesn't take me long to realize that she's staring at my scars. I feel heat rising to my cheeks and look away. They aren't something I talk about too often, and they aren't something to be proud of. What the Program did to me is unforgivable.

"Mom and dad would want us to be together though," Annie tells me. The hope in her voice suddenly makes me feel even guiltier. "They always wanted us to be close, even if we didn't get along."

Should I tell her about dad? His work with Hydra makes me wonder just how much Annie knows. He never told us about it, and I doubt he ever told mom about it either. As I always say, it's better to keep secrets than to tell the world the painful truth.

We start talking about what happened in the past years since we last saw each other. Annie had started taking honors classes and did well in just about everything school related. She said that with everything that had happened it was her way of making up for what she lost. The bittersweet reunion leaves yet another burning hole in my heart; I will never know what it's like to go back to school or graduate.

"What about you?" Annie doesn't look at me when she asks the question. She already knows what I will say, and the hurt in her voice is evident enough. I wish I could tell her the truth, really I do. But I know it will only make her feel worse if I do.

"That information is classified," I reply, sounding exactly like Natasha.

Why was I so afraid of talking to Annie? Her life seems to be perfect now. She deserves as much. At least she isn't broken beyond repair.

"Valerie, who was that agent guy you were with earlier?" Annie suddenly asks. I notice that she's looking out the window, and I hold back a sigh when I see who she is watching. She's never dealt with SHIELD yet, and I don't want her to know what they're like.

"He's a friend," I tell her. I bite back a sigh as I unwrap my arms and stand up. "I should probably go; it's not safe for me to stay in one place for long." Looking over my shoulder I realize that the sun is already setting.

"Can't you stay any longer?" Annie asks in a pleading tone. "I miss having a sister who isn't so… annoying."

I don't miss the look of embarrassment that flashes in her eyes. Instead of replying I climb down the latter and run across the field. For once it feels like the weight of is lifted off my shoulders. All of the pain and regret I felt earlier seems to fade like the setting sun. I don't bother looking back. I'm not going back to that kind of life. My life belongs out in the world.


	8. We Have A Deal

**Chapter Eight**

"Wait!" I don't stop walking until I feel a hand on my shoulder. Instinct immediately screams at me to fight back. But I stop myself; Annie is not a threat. As I turn I notice that she is crying again, and she looks away to wipe her tears. "Valerie, do you have to leave? We only just met up again and—" I cut her off and look at her warily. For the first time I don't know what to say, except for the fact that staying would only make things worse for her and her family.

"Annie, you and I both know that isn't possible," I tell her. My shoulders sag with guilt as I think of what to tell her. "My life would only put yours in danger, and I'm not about to take that risk." Annie is about to argue when she thinks better of it. Instead she nods in understanding before giving me a hug. All I can do is stare at her in shock when she pulls back, looking half embarrassed at my reaction. I turn around and head back to where Coulson is waiting. Annie is safe, and that is all that matters.

...

"So…. Was it weird seeing her again?" Skye asks the question that everyone else was thinking. We're back at the BUS as it takes flight once more. An eerie sense of calm takes over as Fitz and Simmons return to their research. Apparently something had happened that prevented them from leaving the lab.

I think back to the way she reacted when she saw me. Annie has always acted that way, acting without thinking. Truthfully I've always thought it was a good thing the Program didn't recruit her. She would have made a dangerous enemy. More so than me, due to her accomplishments.

"It was strange, but in a good way," I reply after giving it some thought. It felt good to see Annie again, despite the pain from earlier. Knowing that she is safe makes me feel even better. "Where are we going?" I suddenly ask when I feel the BUS lurch downwards.

"We're headed back to the Helicarrier." Agent Coulson chooses that time to step in. Grant is sitting next to Skye on the leather couch while I'm sitting across from them. It's strange thinking that Coulson is leading his own ragtag team of heroes. Yet I know that Director Fury chose to do this for a reason. "Not only do we need to restock and refuel, but I wanted to drop you off for obvious reasons," he adds the last part with a shrug.

Almost at once I start arguing when I think better of it. The last place I want to go back to is the Helicarrier. I spent so much time there that I lost track of it. Of course I want nothing to do with SHIELD, yet for some reason they seemed determined to drag me into their mess.

Fortunately Coulson doesn't see my expression as he turns and heads for the cockpit. With Agent May flying the BUS it gives him the freedom to check on everyone. I'm sure that such freedom comes in handy when you're on a team full of assassins and spies.

"Why are you so reluctant to join SHIELD?" Skye's questions are really starting to irritate me. But instead of saying that out loud I simply shrug and lean against the seat, giving it some thought. Why am I so reluctant to join SHIELD? The question leaves me thinking back to what I previously thought of it.

After dealing with the Program I think that is part of the reason. I know that SHIELD only wants me to join them because of my history. They know that I would make a dangerous enemy if I turned against them. But of course I wouldn't do that, not unless I was forced against my will.

I am saved from answering when the BUS suddenly makes a landing. It takes me a few seconds to realize that we've reached the Helicarrier already. The awkwardness from earlier returns seconds later when May returns with Coulson.

"Skye, you stay with Ward," he orders. "Agent May will escort miss Hirsch to Director Fury." He nods to May who doesn't look the least bit happy. Then again I've never seen her happy, and I haven't even been here for that long.

"What about you?" Skye raises an eyebrow when she asks the question, and everyone shuffles around awkwardly once again. Coulson keeps on a straight face though, and I wonder how he can do that without cracking under the pressure.

"Everyone believes that I'm dead," he replies while keeping on a straight face. "I'll stay here and keep an eye on the BUS. Fitz and Simmons are staying as well." He looks over his shoulder after a groan of annoyance follows. I can't help but smirk when I recognize Fitz's voice. I can only assume that he was eager to see the Helicarrier for the first time, if this was his first trip.

Once everything is said and done I go back to my room and grab my bag. Coulson gave me a few clothes that I can keep, along with a dagger of my picking. Normally I wouldn't bring such a weapon with me on a trip like this. But something told me that I should bring it, just in case. With everything packed and ready to go, I follow the others out to find myself greeted by the harsh sunlight.

And of course a squad of SHIELD agents had us surrounded. I nearly bump into May when I stop myself just in time. The agents don't look alarmed though as May quickly explains what is going on. Apparently something had gone wrong when she tried alerting Fury to her team's arrival.

The Helicarrier hasn't changed much on the outside as far as I can tell. It has the same landing pad with several agents keeping a watch for signs of enemy attacks. Quinjets and other planes are parked nearby in rows. In all I am not impressed.

"Agents Melinda May and Grant Ward, please come with me." I stiffen when a familiar face steps through the crowd. I don't miss the wary look Skye gives her, or the fact that the brunette only mentioned May and Ward as agents. "The signals somehow got crossed when you tried communicating with us," agent Hill explains as she begins leading us away.

Someone obviously didn't want them to communicate. My mind already begins running through the possibilities as to who would try such a stunt. Hydra is more likely to cut off communication between teams. Then again it could be someone much worse, or nothing at all.

As we head inside the Helicarrier I get familiar with it already. I've traveled these halls before. We pass by the communication center and a few agents look at me in surprise. Agent Hill just ignores their stares though as she leads us further into a debriefing room.

It looks to me like Skye is trying to take in everything at once. The look in her eyes reminds me of a kid in a candy shop. She's too awestruck to say anything, and I try not to smirk when I notice that she's struggling to keep on a straight face like Coulson had.

The room we step into reminds me of the interrogation room I once sat in. However I notice that it's larger than that room. The padded black walls remind me of a media room where they record music in. A large round glass top table is placed in the center of the room with wheely chairs to sit on. The door behind us slams shut with a loud hiss as agent Hill steps out to let Fury know we've arrived.

"Anyone else notice that this looks more like a prison cell?" Skye stays close to Ward as she finally finds the courage to speak.

"Would you calm down already? I've seen far worse prison cells than this," I mutter with a roll of my eyes. That much is true. She knows next to nothing about imprisonment, and hopefully she never would know of it. Ward only smirks at my statement while Skye stares at me in shock.

Thankfully she doesn't get the chance to speak again when the door opens once more. I'm not surprised to see agent Hill standing next to Director Fury. What does surprise me more than anything are the two other agents that are standing with him.

"Agent Hill, you can take these two away," Fury began, addressing Ward and Skye. "I'd like to have a word with miss Hirsch." I resist the urge to glare back when he looks at me. He doesn't seem the least bit surprised by my reaction.

Skye looks at me like she wants to say something, but Hill leads her away before she can get a word in. I can only assume that Ward knows better than to argue. Once they are gone the tension in the room only seems to get worse.

May is giving Natasha and Clint death glares, but she keeps her expression neutral when Fury steps in front of us. I hardly have time to react when I am shuffled over to the table. Natasha and Clint sit beside me while May sits on the other side.

"Now," Fury begins when the awkward silence threatens to get worse, "Why don't you tell me what happened back there?" I look at Fury in confusion until I realize what he means. My brows furrow as I think back to what happened before Hydra captured me.

"Agent Romanoff and Barton were keeping an eye on me the whole time," I mutter in an accusing tone. The two said agents shift uncomfortably in their seats. Director Fury smirks a knowing smirk, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes once more.

"It was for your own protection," he tells me. "Your refusal to join SHIELD is one of the reasons why we decided to keep an eye on you." Slowly I nod in understanding, though I'm still pissed off that Fury doesn't trust me. I suppose given my history I can understand why he wouldn't though.

"Hydra captured me on the day Captain America gave his speech at the opening of the new police station," I explained. "They wanted me to join their organization. And when I refused, they tried forcing me into joining. Still I refused; I would rather die again and again before joining those bastards."

Silence follows my words. What Hydra did to me was nothing compared to what I endured in the Program. In ways I would say that the Program was worse than Hydra. Then again I never really followed Hydra, unless the two joined forces for whatever reason.

"Which is exactly why I would like you to join SHIELD," Fury says. He stops me before I can protest, raising a hand and glaring at me. "If Hydra were to get their hands on you, they would know that you can't be controlled by normal means. We can only assume that they will try capturing you again, and this time they will be successful."

My eyes narrow into tiny slits as I consider what he means by that. With all honesty I don't want to join any organization. But he does speak the truth. Hydra will try and capture me again. And this time they will make sure that I fall under their control.

"Alright, fine…." I pause to take a deep breath, wondering if this truly is the only option I have. "I'll join, but on one condition." Fury raises his eyebrow when I look at him warily. "You have to promise that you will keep my sister, and her family, safe."

"We have a deal." All I can do is stare at Fury in surprise.


	9. A New Mission

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

><p><em>"The dream is alive, I feel it inside When You're close, I see the light The dream is alive, And it's right in front of me..." The Dream, Sanctus Real<em>

* * *

><p>Papers are scattered across the desk as I start looking them over. Paperwork is something that I've gotten used to signing. After dealing with the Program for most of my life I should be used to it. And yet I was reluctant to sign these papers. Once I do my life will forever be in the hands of SHIELD. I still can't decide whether or not this is a good thing. My mind is torn between freedom and doing the right thing.<p>

A part of me knows that joining SHIELD would give me a better chance at life. Yet another part of me tells me that this is wrong. That SHIELD is no better than the Program. Fortunately while debating on the subject I am left alone. Fury left the room once agent Hill had given him the paperwork, along with the others. I am perfectly content with doing this on my own.

Finally I decide to take the risk and sign the paperwork. It's a long and grueling process. SHIELD ensures that every little detail is known before one signs their life away. I understand why they do this, it's just another test to see how patient one is. Patience is something that was also taken to the extreme in the Program. A shudder runs through me as I remember the tests that were constantly run every morning.

"That was fast." I don't bother looking up when I hear the door open. Clint is leaning against the doorway with his arms folded as he watches me cautiously. "What made you change your mind?" he suddenly asks. I was wondering when he would ask that.

"I don't know," I admit. "I suppose the fact that I have nowhere else to go helps." I add the last part with a shrug. Then I think back to the way Hydra treated me when I refused to join. SHIELD had been far kinder to me than I give them credit for.

"Welcome to the team," he says with a smirk before letting Fury in. I can't help but raise an eyebrow when he says that, wondering what the hell he means. Fury looks at the paperwork in surprise when he notices that I put it all together again. I can't stand not being organized.

"First thing's first, take out your weapons and put them on the table," he suddenly orders. All I can do is stare at him with what I hope is an innocent look. Fury doesn't falter though under my piercing gaze. "You and Widow are more alike than you realize, hand them over." His tone of authority tells me that I better listen, for all of our sakes.

Holding back a sigh of frustration, I pull out the two daggers hidden in my shoes. Seconds later and a small handgun is pulled out as well. Fury studies my expression carefully before I start to speak.

"I don't go anywhere without them," I explain warily. "After the last time I think you can understand why."

Fury nods in understanding before gesturing for me to follow, to which I oblige reluctantly. I notice as I peek outside one of the few windows that the BUS is still parked on the landing pad. Coulson's team has not left yet, and I wonder if they're getting a debriefing from agent Hill.

"Given the circumstances I believe that you'll be best suited working under agents Romanoff and Barton," Fury explains as he leads me to one of the many labs. "We've been working on a case for the last few weeks, dealing with Hydra."

My face blanches slightly at the mention of Hydra. After what they did to me I am in no hurry to see them again.

"Hydra's been after the information SHIELD has for years," a scientist tells us. He is currently typing away at a large computer while speaking. But I notice the encryption code and can't take my eyes off of it. Something about it is oddly familiar.

"It's the data that your father managed to save," a new yet familiar voice speaks up. I turn to see that Natasha has joined us. She is standing beside Fury, looking at the screen with narrowed eyes. "He thought this research could change the world, in more ways than one."

I feel like I'm going to be sick. I remember those files that Natasha gave me a few weeks ago. My own father had been working on a project that the Program stole from Hydra. According to the file I read he was trying to figure out a way to make people invulnerable to bullet wounds, or any wounds for that matter. His research had been successful, but it came at a terrible cost. I learned that the hard way when I started working for the Program.

"So that's why Hydra was after me," I murmur. My voice is so quiet that I am sure that no one heard it.

"Hydra has other reasons for recruiting you," Natasha points out. I can't help but flinch when I realize that she is right. Something tells me that Hydra will stop at nothing to get what they want.

"Which is exactly why we are infiltrating one of their bases," Fury announces. I look at him in disbelief, but he doesn't seem to notice. "Hydra has a base not far from here. One of our agents has been keeping tabs on them. We have reason to believe that they have a new weapon, one that can ultimately destroy any hope of survival."

This time I hold back a groan of annoyance. Just when I think I'm free from missions, something like this pops up. Although I would not be surprised if Hydra did have something like that. After dealing with them I know what they are capable of.

"And that's why you want me on this mission," I mutter under my breath. Fury gives me a calculating look before nodding.

"Given your track record, you would make a valuable asset to this mission," he explains. "Agent Romanoff and Barton will be there to keep you safe."

I try not to look disappointed. It isn't my own safety I'm worried about. It's theirs. What he doesn't know is that Hydra is after me. I'm afraid that I might only get in the way.

Once everything is said and done we leave the lab to get ready. Natasha leads me over to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Considering the fact that it's been longer than a day since my last meal, I'm surprised I'm not hungrier.

To my surprise I see Coulson's team sitting in the cafeteria with lunch trays in front of them. May is sitting apart from the team while Skye, Simmons and Fitz start chatting away. Ward remains oddly quiet throughout their conversation. I can't help but smirk when they start laughing their heads off at some joke.

Coulson's team is no different from the Avengers, I realize. True they may not have powers, but half of the Avengers don't have powers either. Tony doesn't technically have powers unless one counts his intelligence, which can get rather annoying at times.

"So how are you enjoying the Helicarrier?" After grabbing a tray full of food consisting of what SHIELD would consider only the best, I sit next to Skye. I try and sound as casual as possible, hoping they don't get suspicious.

"It's pretty awesome," Skye admits, sounding more embarrassed than anything. "Did you actually join SHIELD?" Her question catches me by surprise, and I notice that Fitz and Simmons are eying me curiously now.

"It's not like I had another choice," I whisper. The bitterness in my voice suddenly returns. I wonder if my life would be any different had dad not worked on any of those research projects. Maybe I would still be going to school like a normal teenager. And I would have a family that actually cares for me.

"I think you'll find that SHIELD isn't all that bad," Simmons tells me.

I sure hope that she's right. Already I'm second guessing the decision I made just minutes ago. What if this isn't the best idea? I'm putting my life on the line for the organization I was trained to hate. Then again the Program was the reason I had hated SHIELD in the first place.

"We need to get going," May suddenly announces before anyone could speak up. "We have an 0-8-4." Clint looks at her with renewed interest, but she ignores it and heads out with a tray still full of food. Skye and I exchange looks of confusion before Ward finally explains what an 0-8-4 is.

"It's something alien in nature, obviously not something the government would normally handle," he replies with a smug look. We both roll our eyes in annoyance before Skye mutters something under her breath.

"Well, I suppose that's our cue to leave. It was nice meeting you." I nod back as Skye turns to leave, followed closely after by Fitz and Simmons. Where ever they were headed I hope they make it out safely. Something tells me that whatever happens won't be easy for them.


	10. Research At It's Best

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

><p><em>"Roll back the curtains from our eyes, And now we can see You Shown us your way, your truth and life, We offer our lives to bring You fame We're caught in Your freedom, We're caught in Your freedom..." Go, Hillsong United<em>

* * *

><p>"Some people would consider me a monster for what I did. But this is for the good of man kind. I realized too late what Hydra was planning. All I can hope for is that my family is saved from what I have to suffer…." The video fades in and out as blurry images pass by the camera. It takes me a few minutes to recognize younger versions of myself and Annie running around. Dad had kept a lab down in the basement, and at the time I was too young to understand what it all meant. "Girls, what did I tell you about going down here?"<p>

I can't help but grin when two lookalikes turn to face him and the camera. Fury is currently running video feeds on any files he might have on my family, and the work with Hydra. So far we've been sitting here for what feels like hours. This is the first video feed I've seen of myself and Annie within it.

"Annie took away my favorite toy!" A younger me wails as Annie laughs in the background. Before dad can react I manage to reach over and grab the toy that Annie had taken from her hands, rather violently if you ask me. Annie's laughter dies down when she realizes what I've done.

"So, you were an ass back than as well," Clint mutters with a smirk. To which I respond by slugging him in the ribs. For a guy who knows how to kill someone a thousand different ways, he can be quite an ass himself.

"Did you get anything out of that?" Fury looks at the three of us, and I tilt my head to one side thoughtfully. Memories of that fight had been rather vague when I joined the Program. I tried pushing them away when I was asked to join the Program, in an attempt to forget my past. And now I am trying to remember everything, just to figure out what it was my father worked on.

"Your father was working on a project similar to the Super Soldier serum," Natasha explains with a roll of her eyes. "The Red Room and Hydra hired him out of desperation. They were hoping that he could somehow create an army of super soldiers under their command."

And with an army like that they would be unstoppable. My eyes light up with understanding when I realize what that means. That is why they are after my blood. I may not have the strength of a super soldier but I have something just as good.

"What exactly did my father create when he couldn't make a Super Soldier serum?" I ask warily. I already know the truth, from the files that Natasha had given me not that long ago. But I want to hear the truth out loud, as chilling as it is.

Fury and Natasha exchange a look before the Director types in a new set of codes. I roll my eyes when Clint yawns and stretches out his arms, clearly bored with all of this information. Seconds later and a new video appears on the screen. My eyes widen when I recognize the names introduced on the video feed. A certain Richard Parker and Norman Osborn appear standing beside my father, both smiling like idiots as the camera rolls.

"What's most significant about this research is what it can do for human kind," Richard begins explaining. Dad only grins sheepishly before revealing a vile full of what I can assume is the serum the Program used on me.

"This serum, if used correctly, could prove useful out on the field for soldiers and for those who are sick or injured," dad says in a proud tone. "If it is used correctly, than the serum would be able to heal any wound, no matter how deep, and even cure sickness or genetic diseases."

"Why would Norman Osborn be interested in something like that?" I hate asking so many questions. But of course the more I see of these videos, the more questions keep forming. If dad was able to create such a serum than it could be dangerous in the wrong hands.

"We'll explain that one later," Fury replies after giving his response some thought. "The problem with that serum your father was creating appeared soon after Richard and Norman started working with him. We have reason to believe that they somehow tampered with the research."

That only leaves me feeling more confused than ever. Why the hell would they tamper with such research? Unless they wanted the research for themselves, or were planning on stepping away eventually. According to the files dad had walked away from the research, but that didn't mean someone else started working on it again.

"So where does that leave the kid?" Clint asks before I can open my mouth. I shoot him a glare but say nothing. I already have a feeling I know the answer to that question. If he were alive dad would have personally killed Albert himself.

"The serum proved successful," Natasha explains. "But at a price," she quickly puts in. I look at her in surprise when she eyes me warily. "If the body were to reject the serum, than it could ultimately destroy the victim it was used on."

I feel a chill sweep through me when she says that. All eyes are trained on me, and I realize just how lucky I am to be alive. Or in this case how unlucky I am. Truth be told I didn't want to live forever. Every time someone tried shooting me I somehow survived. And now I understand why.

"Right, so how exactly do we use this against Hydra?" I fold my arms and try to block the unhappy thoughts away. All that keeps running through my mind is that my father is the reason I'm in this situation. Because of him I'm stuck with SHIELD and pretty much being used as a target to draw out Hydra.

"Hydra soldiers are creatures of habit," Fury replies with the faintest smirks. I don't think I've ever seen him smile. Then again I don't know him very well personally. And I'm not in any hurry to get to know him either. "In the meantime I think you should head back to the lab. The research agents Fitz and Simmons found is a bit… unusual."

My eyes narrow slightly before I get up to leave. Something tells me that nothing good is going to come out of this.

...

Cold steel gray walls surround me as I reach the lab. A few scientists remained as it was close to midnight by the time I arrive. My eyes widen in surprise when I notice a familiar figure standing in the lab. He's too busy looking down at some files to notice my arrival. It takes a few more seconds for him to finally notice me after I let out a tiny cough.

"I thought you were off the grid," I say in an accusing tone when he finally turns. Bruce looks at me in shock before making a quick recovery. I don't want him to Hulk out, not here. It is good to see him though, much as I hate to admit it.

"Yeah well, SHIELD gave me an offer that I can't refuse," he mutters crossly. "I'm surprised to see you here," he adds. I give him a faint smile before explaining what had happened. "So they pretty much forced you to join too," he concludes.

I give another nod before thinking of something else to say. Right now my mind is still on what we went over in the interrogation room. All of those video feeds were still running through my mind. Images of my father, my sister and even my mother began sweeping past me.

"So what did Hydra do to me this time?" I ask after struggling to push down the memories. Bruce looks at me in surprise before nodding towards the files he'd dropped earlier.

"The damage isn't as bad as I thought," he explains once I help him pick them up. To my surprise I notice some odd writing on one of the pages, something that I've seen before while training at the Program. "But…. They did something else, something that can't be changed."

I let my eyes roll once more. That is nothing new. I've dealt with life changing events before, and this will be no different.

"So Hydra did something to me. What exactly did they do?" I let my shoulders fall down as I watch him carefully. Judging by his expression it isn't anything good.

"Somehow they got a hold of something called the X-Gene," he tells me. I raise an eyebrow but let him continue. "This X-Gene is progressing at a faster rate than we expected, and because of the serum that was already injected…." He pauses and looks at me cautiously.

"My body accepted it," I finish for him. Bruce nods in agreement before placing down the files on a desk. He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration as I try and process this information. "So wait, does that mean that I'm a… mutant?"

The question comes out slowly. Mutants have never been an easy subject, for anyone part of the Program. Mostly because of the civil war waging between them and humans. There was a class on them and the abilities that they are born with. But other than that my knowledge on them is pretty scarce.

"I don't know the full extent of it," he replies while trying to keep a steady voice. I can't tell if he's angry with me or Hydra for what they did to me. "All I know is that you weren't born with mutant blood. That's why this case is so confusing."

"I'm sure everything will be alright," I murmur in a quiet voice. Yet the nagging at the back of my head keeps telling me otherwise. I know that this isn't right. Hydra did something to me that can't be changed. What if that meant something far worse is going to happen? That this is only the beginning?

"Let's hope so." I know from the look in his eyes that he doesn't believe me. All I can do now is hope that Hydra didn't do anything else to me that I'm not aware of. Otherwise we were in bigger trouble than we realized.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know that the first few lines sound like something from the Amazing Spiderman 2, but I couldn't resist adding that part. And yes, I did include a few characters from different Marvel movies.<strong>


	11. Mission Ready

**Chapter Eleven**

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><p><em>"Years ago now I couldn't hold my eyes to the stars, Burdened by how they slept so far away I see now this is better in so many ways, All that glitter is fire, burns the skin and leaves you with haste Everything I do, I do in slow motion, I don't know what to say Everywhere I fall, don't know name or location, Baby, I'll just find my way, I'll find it..." Slow Motion, Phox<em>

* * *

><p>Everything is in chaos. My eyes narrow as I scan for an opening in the crowd of shocked bystanders. Everyone is panicking at the sight of an explosion that has just occurred seconds ago. It's nothing but a distraction from the real problem at hand. I know that just by noticing how many people survived the explosion.<p>

A notice someone standing in the middle of the crowd. While everyone else is dressed in casual or business attire, I don't miss the suit that he is wearing. He doesn't look nervous or worried. In fact he ignores the situation and heads for the nearest building. He walks slowly and deliberately, giving me enough time to catch up to him.

And of course that is when things start to go wrong. More men begin appearing from around the building, surrounding the premises. The target in question smirks when I realize too late the mistake I've made. It's a stupid mistake, and one that I should have seen coming.

I hold back a sigh of frustration as the images begin to dissolve, leaving me standing alone in a different room.

"That was better than last time." I roll my eyes at the familiar sound of Clint's voice. He wouldn't be joining us on the mission that Fury has assigned to both me and Natasha. I am still surprised by the fact that Fury had the nerve to ask him to join us at the debriefing meeting days ago. Clint is, nonetheless, not happy about it.

"And yet it still says that I failed," I mutter under my breath as I reach his side.

SHIELD has a simulation room that I've been working with for the last few days. So far I've failed only twice, this making it three times. The fact that I have failed at all makes me wary. I know that this mission will be dangerous. Natasha and I were assigned to take down a base run by Hydra.

"I'm done for the day." My arms drop to my side once the simulation is reset. "Anyone who says otherwise can deal with me personally." Clint gives me an amused smirk before leading the way out of the room.

We've been moved from the Helicarrier to small base somewhere in New York City. Truthfully I wasn't in any hurry to go back. But I don't have any say in the matter. At least from here I can see what our target's next move is. So far things have been pretty quiet since the last few incidents that occurred a few weeks ago.

"You really are just like Widow," Clint laughs as we reach the cafeteria.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Like Natasha I was trained under a program similar to the Red Room. She was put under worse treatment than even I could imagine during her time at the Red Room. I suppose I was lucky that I never witnessed that sort of brutality.

"Director Fury wants you in the debriefing room, immediately." I resist the urge to roll my eyes at the sound of agent Hill's voice. It's going to take some time getting used to hearing that over the com. "The both of you," she suddenly adds after pausing for a moment.

Again I feel the urge to roll my eyes when they already know who I'm with. It is really know surprise. The only three people on the Helicarrier I would be caught dead with were Clint, Natasha or Bruce. And Bruce is busy working in the lab, so of course that isn't an option at the moment. At least Clint has been teaching me a few new moves that would come in handy on field missions. To which I'm assuming is the reason behind Hill's sudden order.

Uneasiness suddenly washes over me as we head over to the debriefing room. I'm not ready for this mission. Yes I was reckless back when I trained in the Program. I did terrible things that I'd rather not speak of again. But this…. Somehow this seems different.

Natasha and Fury are already waiting when we reach the room in question. I don't miss the look on Natasha's face and can't help but look down. All of the confidence I had felt two years ago suddenly washed away. Taking a deep breath, I follow Clint into the room and sit down between them as Fury starts to speak.

"This is your drop off point," he explains while pointing towards the coordinates on a map. "What I want you and Widow to do is make sure that there aren't any other serums that Hydra can use on their agents."

I swallow back the nervousness that threatens to overwhelm me. Hydra is trying to create an army of their own super soldiers. I know that the Red Skull had created a somewhat successful version of that serum. But of course that too had come with a price. I wonder if he still regrets injecting himself with that serum.

"Clint, you're piloting the quinjet," Natasha adds after giving the location a thorough check. The base in question is an underground base, hidden in the backwoods of somewhere near Delaware of all places. I begin to wonder why they would choose such an obvious location when I feel someone nudging my arm. "We're leaving in five minutes, there's a duffel bag in your room," Natasha suddenly tells me.

This time I nod before rushing out of the room. Five minutes is more than enough time. When I reach my temporary quarters I grab the necessities. Once that's taken care of I make sure that the knives Fury had taken are back before putting them in place. I never leave home without them, and I'm not about to start leaving them.

Once that's all said and done I make my way back to our meeting point. Natasha is already waiting with her own duffel bag packed and ready to go. We exchange a look before heading outside the hanger door. Sure enough Clint's already waiting outside with the engine running, looking more annoyed than anything else.

_He wants to go with us_, I realize.

Silence follows as we get in. Natasha sits in the cockpit next to Clint while I find a spot to think. My mind keeps running over the possibilities this mission could bring. All that I keep thinking about is how often I failed those simulations. Am I really ready for this again?

...

"We're here." Natasha's voice suddenly drawls my attention. I didn't realize I was asleep until now. The silence is almost welcoming until I hear those words. I look outside the window to see where we are.

As far as I can see there are trees stretching all around. A few towns can be seen here and there, but they are scattered apart in different areas. The terrain looks like it will be cold. I notice that the trees are different shades of green, orange, red and yellow, reminding me that it is autumn.

Silently I pray that the Winter Solder won't be here. Our last encounter had not been the friendliest. He is still under Hydra's influence after all. And Hydra is going to be on high alert since I was rescued from that base.

"Keep safe, I'll keep the com on until you reach their base," Clint calls over his shoulder as the quinjet makes a landing in a large clearing.

"It's not us you should be worried about," Natasha says with a smirk. Clint only rolls his eyes before tossing her the duffel bag she'd packed. I jump out of the quinjet just as she is getting ready to and breath in the fresh air.

Birdsong fills the air despite the cold that washes over me. It's early in the morning, and I notice that a fine mist covers the area like a blanket. If I wasn't about to put my life in danger I might just enjoy the nature that surrounds me.

Natasha grabs something else from the quinjet before taking a step back as it takes flight once more. As Clint leaves us stranded here I'm left wondering whether or not we've made the right choice. A clearing was one of the most obvious spots someone could be found. So of course Natasha chooses to lead us further into the forest, keeping an eye out for booby traps along the way.

"We're about four miles away from the location Fury pointed out," Natasha explains as she pitches a tent. "We should get some rest and start planning on our next course of action from here."

I nod in agreement before settling down on a log covered in moss. A fire is out of the question, considering we're out on a mission. Anyone within a five-mile radius could spot us if they were scouting the forest. So for tonight we would be sleeping under the stars, literally.

As I unroll my sleeping bag I lay down and stare at the stars that I can see between the branches. The uneasy feeling suddenly returns as I think of what lays ahead tomorrow. I know that Hydra will likely be there. And to make matters worse memories of what has happened during previous missions suddenly returns.

"Hey Nat?" I suddenly turn so that I'm facing Natasha, who is getting ready for the first watch. We'd decided before leaving the Helicarrier that either one of us would keep watch during the night, so that someone could get sleep. Thankfully Natasha is kind enough to take the first watch. She only gives me a look before nodding in encouragement. "Would it be weird to say that I'm nervous?" My voice drops to barely a whisper.

"Of course not," she replies. "Every agent feels some kind of anxiety on their first mission. It's natural."

This time I hold back a sigh of relief. All I can do now is hope that she's right. Something in my gut tells me that this mission is about to go South.


	12. So Much For The Easy Way

_"I don't really wanna fight over something, It's really nothing, it doesn't matter I don't really wanna scar your heart with words that hurt you, I won't hurt you..." The Fight Song, Sanctus Real_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

Stars gleam above me as I take the second watch. It's past midnight already, and I can't help but think of what lays ahead. Because of Hydra my life became a living hell. I was asked to join the program after my parents were mysteriously killed. It wasn't until I met the Avengers that I learned the truth behind their deaths.

My face is buried in my hands as I try piecing together the puzzle. Annie had been away during that time, and I was away during a school trip. It wasn't until I got back that someone from the program approached me. I can still remember it as if it had just happened.

...

"_Mom? Dad?" I walked into the kitchen that led straight into the dining room. Everything seemed normal as far as I was concerned. No broken windows or doors for that matter. What did strike me as odd was the fact that the back door had been unlocked. Mom and dad rarely left the door unlocked, even when they were home._

_My heart nearly skipped a beat when I reached the living room. What I saw made me want to scream. Two bodies were placed side by side next to the blood-stained sofa. I swallowed as tears started running down my cheek. The sight was something that I never imagined would happen. And it would never leave me._

_"What did they do to deserve this?" The backpack strapped to my shoulder dropped with a heavy thud as I fell down to my knees. Every ounce of strength I felt earlier seemed drained as I stared at the sight in front of me._

_The initial shock lasted for two days. I was too afraid to go back there when I discovered the bodies. Police were scanning the area for signs of the murderers. Somehow being in the same room where they had been killed only made things worse. I stayed as far away from the house as possible, and avoided talking to anyone with questions._

_That was when I was approached. I could still remember the feeling of grief taking over when the men in suits reached me. The fact that they were in suits should have been my first warning. But of course at the time I wasn't sure who to trust, especially after what had happened._

_"We would offer a place for you to stay, if you would join our program," one of them explained as I watched them carefully. I wasn't sure what to make of them at the time. "And a chance for revenge." That alone was enough to catch my attention._

_It took a while for their words to register. But finally they did, and the temptation was too great to pass. My fists clenched as I thought of what I would do to whoever had done this. They would pay, that much I knew._

_"When do I start?_"

...

Revenge. Now it seems like such a horrible word to me. I can still remember the urge to get revenge on the people that took away my parent's lives. The Program had used that need for revenge against me. But it was only after I joined the Program that I can't remember much of what happened. I know that Albert had wiped out my memory so that he could use me against the Avengers. In the end of course his plan had failed miserably.

A hand suddenly shakes my shoulder. Acting upon instinct I suddenly grab the hand, but they quickly pull back. It takes a few seconds for me to realize what I had almost done. Natasha is standing behind me, arms folded with a stern look across her face.

"Sorry," I mutter.

"It's time to go," she simply states before gathering our stuff.

I can't help but bite the bottom of my lips as shame crawls down my arms. I should have known it was her. But all of those years in the Program had taught me to never trust anyone. Thankfully Natasha isn't too put off by my lack of trust.

"I've already scouted three Hydra agents heading towards that grove of trees," I point out after going over the video feed. Thankfully I had kept a camera on to keep an eye out for any intruders. None have gotten as far as our camp sight, but it is obvious that there is a base nearby. There's too much activity for there not to be a base.

"Lead the way." I stare at her in surprise before giving the faintest nods.

A sudden feeling of uncertainty washes over me as I start fumbling through the thick undergrowth. The forest hasn't been touched by human hands for years. And yet there is a path ahead that looks like it has been cleared by vehicles. It's difficult to make out in the dense ferns that cover the ground.

We pause for a moment as another truck drives by. My eyes narrow when I see that it is a truck that is normally used by the army. Something is covering the back of it, flapping away in the wind. As the truck drives past us I quickly make my way down towards the entrance, careful not to let myself be seen.

"This place is probably full of traps," I say under my breath.

"Hang on." Before I can ask what she means by that, Natasha suddenly pulls out some kind of device that I've never seen. "Mostly guards, and lots of them," she points out.

"So let me see if I have this right," I begin to ensure that I'm following orders. "Fury wants us to infiltrate the base and take any evidence we can on my father's experiments?" Natasha nods in a reassuring way, but I notice that something is off in the way she stares at the entrance looming in front of us.

"He wants us to destroy the base, and anyone loyal to Hydra," she says in a grim voice.

Chills suddenly sweep down my back. Back when I was part of the Program I had killed because I was following orders. I thought that joining SHIELD would make up for that. But of course Fury would want anyone close to Hydra dead.

"Why?" is all I can ask.

Natasha is about to answer when alarm suddenly sounds. We both look around in panic until the sound of footsteps tell us that we've been spotted. I feel my heartbeat getting faster when I realize that they have us surrounded. So much for getting this done the easy way.


End file.
